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Rey del Pollo Lopez versus the Spammers

One of my visitors sent me his corredpondence that he is using to take on the spammers.  I present "Rey del Pollo Lopez" - a Spanish name as great as the infamous Dr. Kaad Zias...

-- Mike

I usually receive between two and five Nigerian spam on daily basis; and I decides to answer each of it with a phrase in Spanish suggesting the sender to stick something somewhere in his body.  Yesterday one of those guys, supposedly based in Senegal thought I agreed with him and after about six replies, I decided to write the following (what is going to be what I intend to reply to every Nigerian spam mail I receive):

Dear sir,

I thank God for having received your mail; it is a blessing.  I was looking for a reliable partner located outside Mexico.  I have a big problem and I am confident you will help me.

First of all, please promise me you won't speak a word or it with anybody, treat it as Top Secret.

I am Rey del Pollo Lopez, sole son of late Rey Alvarado Rodriguez and late Guadalupe Lopez Lopez, and brand new owner of Pollos para Ti, Ltd, the largest pollutry farm in Latin America with 98400000 (ninety eight four hundred thousand animals).

This is my story:

"After I was born in Cuba my parents decided to flee the island to give me the oportunity of success they were denied after the communist coup d'etat. After selling in the black market all their earthly possesions, they bought a small boat which would take us to Miami. Actually they didn't sell everything they had since they kept the clothes we were wearing and their favorite animals: Juanito the rooster and Juanita the hen. We set sail on september 15, 1972, and when we had the Florida coast on sight, we were catched by a huge tropical storm that took us all the way down to Veracruz, in Mexico.

"The boat wrecked and my father drowned saving me, my mother and of course Juanito the rooster and Juanita the hen.  Seconds before his death he managed to give my mother a bag full of Spanish Doblones (gold coins) which he found buried in an old fort near la Habana (Havanna).

"My mother, Dona Guadalupe, with the money she got from the gold bought a farm at the Valle del Mezquital, the largest pollutry producer region in Mexico, and started a prosperous business with God's blessings and the obvious cooperation of Juanito the rooster and Juanita the hen.  Fearing prosecution from Fidel Castro's secret service, my family name was changed from Alvarado-Lopez to del-Pollo-Lopez.

"Last month, my beloved mother Dona Guadalupe passed away. She left me Pollos para Ti, Ltd, and all her fortune on one single condition: that all the descendants of Juanito the rooster and Juanita the hen must be repatriated to Cuba. Taking a look at our records, I found that the living descendents of Juanito the rooster and Juanita the hen add a total of 3525000 (three million five hundred and twenty five thousand) roosters, hens and chickens. The proposal was made public, but Fidel Castro, dictator of the Island of Cuba made a clear statement in front of one million persons at the Plaza de la Revolucion, he will not accept the animals of Guadalupe Lopez."

The only way I can take the animals to Cuba is using a third country; and here is where you can help me. I will ship you the live animals, and then you will ship them to my cusins at Cuba, but (this is very important) registred as raised in your country. For the expenses this may represent, I am willing to let you keep 25% of the chickens (this at US$2 a piece represents US$1762500) plus 5% of the chickens for any administrative expenses we may find.

Once again I pray all-mighty God that you you are interested on the business, and again, please keep it confidential; the future of more than three million birds depend on you.
Sincerely yours,