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The List of Mike Lewis-es that I am NOT:

I am not the Mike Lewis who is from Blytheville, Arkansas

I am not the Mike Lewis who wrote Liar's Poker, The Money Culture, Trail Fever, or The New New Thing

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a regular contributor to Time Magazine

I am not the Mike Lewis who hosts the nightly news in Norfolk, Virginia

I am not the Mike Lewis who owes you money

I am not the Mike Lewis who didn't pay his taxes in New York, Ohio, or Virginia

I am not the Mike Lewis who plays basketball for the University of Indiana

I am not the Mike Lewis who has several unpaid parking tickets in Buffalo, New York

I am not the Mike Lewis who has a 1991 Mitsubishi

I am not the Mike Lewis who has a delinquent account with Key Bank

I am not the Mike Lewis who is with Greenpeace

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force

I am not the Mike Lewis who sexually harassed you at a chemical plant

I am not the Mike Lewis who was your broker on Wall Street

I am not the Mike Lewis who is your British accountant

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a scientologist

I am not the Mike Lewis who was your professor at the University of Maine

I am not the Mike Lewis who ran over your aunt's dog in Salt Lake City

I am not the Mike Lewis who presents seminars on personal motivation

I am not the Mike Lewis who is your orthopedic surgeon

I am not the Mike Lewis who painted River at Ridgeway and Sunflower Road

I am not the Mike Lewis who composes orchestral film music

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a CPA in Oregon

I am not the Mike Lewis who is running for Congress in California

I am not the Mike Lewis who is your landscape architect

I am not the Mike Lewis who is your Sociology professor

I am not the Mike Lewis who is CEO of a multimedia company

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a sports writer for CBS

I am not the Mike Lewis who is your dentist

I am not the Mike Lewis who made your guitar

I am not the Mike Lewis who is two years old

I am not the Mike Lewis who is an editor at The New Republic

I am not the Mike Lewis who owns a trucking company in Chicago

I am not the Mike Lewis who lost a bid for state representative in Washington

I am not the Mike Lewis who lost a bid for city councilman in Eugene, Oregon

I am not the Mike Lewis who works on crash avoidance systems at NASA

I am not the Mike Lewis whose toilet paper broke and got crap on his fingers

I am not the Mike Lewis who is program director for Pike's Peak Broadcasting

I am not the Mike Lewis who died in San Antonio on September 12, 1999 (obviously - duh!)

I am not the Mike Lewis who works for Deutches Bank

I am not the Mike Lewis who scores music for films

I am not the Mike Lewis who composes Welsh music

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a corporate trainer

I am not the Mike Lewis who sells insurance in Louisiana

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a soccer reporter for CNN/SI

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a Brew Master at Davis, California

I am not the Mike Lewis who offers his viewpoint on Common Dreams Newscenter

I am not the Mike Lewis who wrote the book "The Films of Tom Hanks"

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a celebrity atheist

I am not the Mike Lewis who is #84, the punt return for the New Orleans Saints

I am not the Mike Lewis who is the head of NASA's aviation safety program

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a professional motivator

I am not the Mike Lewis who is makes musical instruments

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a columnist for the New York Times

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a Scientologist

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a math professor at William and Mary

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a military lawyer in Little Rock

I am not the Mike Lewis who is an astrophysicist

I am not the Mike Lewis who is in The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway

I am not the Mike Lewis who is an associate professor of information science at the University of Pittsburgh

I am not the Mike Lewis who is #84, a Senior cornerback for the 2001-2002 Colorado Buffaloes football team

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a USAC Midget (race car) driver

I am not the Mike Lewis who lives in Palm Springs & plays drums in the band "Dude Jones"......(thanks, fellow Mike Lewis)

I am not the Mike Lewis who wrote the books Becoming a Professional Counselor, Home Rehabilitation Program Guide, Management of Human Service Programs, or Community Counseling

I am not the Mike Lewis who is President of M. David Lewis Enterprises

I am not the Mike Lewis who is an assistant professor in the Department of Business Administration at West Virginia State College

I am not the Mike Lewis who is University Professor of Psychology and Counseling at Governors State University

I am not the Mike Lewis who plays sax in the "Regional Jazz Trio"

I am not the Mike Lewis who makes aircraft paintings and prints

I am not the Mike Lewis who plays guitar in the band "Yellowhammer"

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a police chief in Minnesota

I am not the Mike Lewis who created the World Trade Center memorial design "Votives in Suspension"

I am not the Mike Lewis who lives in Virginia Beach

I am not the Mike Lewis who is a lieutenant in the Navy and who worked the NORAD Santa Watch program in 2003

I am not the Mike Lewis who is #32 the safety of the Philadelphia Eagles who played so well in 2005's Super Bowl

I am not one of the 15 Mike Lewis-es that are enrolled at Regent University in Virginia Beach

and I am probably not the Mike Lewis you are thinking of…